Chapter 7
By spring, Malik no longer waited at the window for my car.
He knew when I was coming. If Renee picked him up, her name was on the calendar before school began. When my shift changed, I called him myself.
One afternoon, he asked if he could go to the library with Ava after school.
I nearly said yes before remembering to ask Ava. She said she would like that. I called Monique too, and we agreed on a pickup time.
They came home with more books than either could carry comfortably. Ava had borrowed a mystery novel for Malik because she thought he would like it.
He did.
I wanted to believe the hardest part was behind us. Our next counseling session reminded me that healing didn’t move in a straight line.
Dr. Ellis asked Malik whether he felt comfortable at home.
“Most of the time,” he said.
“When don’t you?”
He looked at Monique.
“When Dad’s at work and I need to ask you for something.”
Monique’s eyes filled.
“You can ask me,” she said.
“I know. I just worry you’ll be annoyed.”
Dr. Ellis asked Monique to let him finish.
Malik held the cuffs of his hoodie.
“I don’t want you to pretend to like me because we’re here.”
Monique went still.
I wanted to put my arm around him. He was working hard to say this himself, so I waited.
“You don’t have to like the same things I do,” he continued. “I just want you to tell me if I can come when you and Ava go out.”
Monique wiped her eyes.
“I’m sorry I made you wonder,” she said. “I care about you. I made choices that didn’t show it.”
Malik nodded. Dr. Ellis asked whether he needed to answer. He shook his head.
Afterward, I drove him to art club. He looked tired, but he went inside with his sketchbook under his arm.
Monique stayed in the car.
“He doesn’t believe me,” she said.
“He heard you.”
“I don’t know if that’s enough.”
“He needs time.”
She stared at the school entrance.
“I kept thinking if I admitted what I’d done, you’d take Ava and leave me alone.”
“I wouldn’t take Ava from you. She’s your daughter.”
“You’ve been a father to her.”
“I care about her. That doesn’t stop because things are hard between us.”
Monique nodded, but her hands trembled in her lap.
That night, Ava asked to speak with me and Monique in the kitchen. She had been accepted into a summer dance program two hours away. She showed us the letter, trying to hide her excitement until she knew whether she could go.
Monique hugged her. I congratulated her.
The program needed two weekend trips for classes and a final performance. We worked out the driving together. Renee offered to help one weekend.
Ava asked if Malik could come to the performance.
“Of course,” I said.
Monique looked at Malik, who had wandered in when he heard Ava’s news.
“I’d like you there too,” she told him.
He smiled at Ava.
“I can draw your costume.”
“Make me look taller,” she said.
For a while, things felt easy.
The next week, I learned my work schedule would change again. My supervisor offered a promotion, but it meant two late evenings each week.
I would have turned it down without thinking. Malik heard me discussing it with Renee and asked why.
“You said you wanted to apply,” he said.
“I did.”
“Is it because you have to pick me up?”
“I want to know our plan works before I take it.”
He thought for a moment.
“I can go to Renee’s on Tuesdays. She lets me help cook.”
We talked with Renee, Monique, and Ava. We made a schedule everyone could see. Then I accepted the promotion.
On my first late Tuesday, I called Malik during my break. He answered from Renee’s kitchen.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I’m making sauce.”
“Save some for me.”
“We’ll see.”
He laughed. It was the first time he had joked with me about working late since the night I found him eating alone.
When I arrived at Renee’s, he had saved me a bowl.
At home, Monique was waiting up. She asked how the new role had gone. We talked over tea after the children went to bed.
“I want to keep doing this,” she said. “The counseling. The schedule. All of it.”
“I do too.”
“I also know I broke your trust.”
I looked at her.
“Yes.”
“I don’t expect it back because I’ve tried for a few weeks.”
I appreciated that she understood.
We sat quietly. I could hear Ava moving upstairs and Malik’s door closing across the hall.
“I want both children to feel at home here,” Monique said.
May you like
“So do I.”
I didn’t promise everything would be fine. I told her I had heard her, and the next morning we kept to the schedule.
