Chapter 7
Marcus and I began meeting once a week.
At first, we stayed in public places. We walked through the market on Sunday mornings. We sat outside a coffee shop and talked until our drinks went cold. He asked about my counseling, and I asked how he had been sleeping. Neither question was easy to answer.
Some days we made each other laugh. Then one of us remembered why we were apart, and the silence returned.
He never pretended it was simple.
One Sunday, we passed a stall selling lemonade. Marcus stopped and looked at it. It was the kind we had met over four years earlier.
“I wanted to bring you here for our anniversary,” he said.
I looked at the bottles lined up on ice.
“I remember you giving me yours,” I said.
“You told me it was too sweet.”
“It was.”
“You drank all of it.”
I smiled. Then his face changed.
“I keep getting memories like that,” he said. “For a minute they feel good. Then I wonder what you were thinking during the last few months.”
“I was happy with you. I also let myself grow close to Andre.”
He turned toward me. “How do both things fit?”
“I don’t have an answer that makes it fair.”
He nodded once, and we kept walking.
Serena sent me a message later that week. Andre had signed the paperwork removing himself from their lease. She had decided to stay in the apartment until the term ended, then move nearer to her mother.
I asked if she wanted help packing when the time came.
Not yet, she wrote.
I respected that.
Andre had stopped contacting us after Serena and Marcus each told him to leave them alone. My manager had not received another call. The quiet helped, but I still checked the street when I left work.
At our next meeting, Marcus noticed.
“Is he still bothering you?”
“No.”
“Then what are you looking for?”
“I’m getting used to not seeing him.”
Marcus considered that. “I’m glad he stopped.”
I wanted to say I had been more afraid of losing Marcus than of seeing Andre. It was true, but I could hear how it would sound. I asked how his brother was instead.
“He’s tired of me using his good towels,” Marcus said.
We both laughed.
Then he said, “I might move back into the apartment.”
“That makes sense.”
“I haven’t decided whether I’ll keep it after the lease ends.”
“When is that?”
“In three months.”
We had lived there together for two years. I had painted the kitchen with him. The thought of a stranger living there hurt, but it was his decision now.
That evening, I opened the birthday gift.
Inside was a small silver necklace with a blue stone. Marcus had remembered a necklace I lost on a train the previous winter. He had found one that looked almost the same.
The note beneath it was dated a week before the dinner.
For all the little things you think I don’t notice. I notice you, Nia. I love you.
I sat on the floor and cried.
At our next meeting, I wore the necklace under my shirt. I did not show it to him until we were about to leave.
“I opened your gift,” I said.
His eyes moved to the stone. “I wasn’t sure you wanted it.”
“I do. Thank you.”
He looked away for a moment. “I meant what I wrote.”
“I know.”
“What I feel now is harder to say.”
“You don’t have to say it yet.”
He touched the back of the empty chair beside him, then let his hand fall.
“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” he said.
“I understand.”
“I need you to know I’m considering that it might never come back.”
The words stung. I kept my eyes on him.
“Thank you for telling me.”
Two days later, my mother invited both of us to dinner. She had not known we were meeting, and I explained that it was too soon. She apologized and asked me to tell Marcus she hoped he was well.
I did, by message.
He replied, Thank her for me.
The next Sunday, Marcus arrived at the market with his brother, Elijah. Elijah stayed only long enough to buy bread. Before leaving, he asked whether he could speak to me for a minute.
“I’ve seen how much this has hurt him,” he said.
“I know.”
“He cares about you. That makes it harder for him.”
“I know that too.”
Elijah watched his brother examining fruit farther down the row.
“I’m saying this because I want you to be patient with him, whatever he decides.”
“I will.”
Marcus came back carrying two peaches. He handed one to me, then noticed our faces.
“What did I miss?”
“Your brother told me to be patient,” I said.
Marcus looked at Elijah. “You could have told me you were giving advice.”
Elijah squeezed his shoulder and left us to walk.
May you like
That afternoon, Marcus invited me to the apartment the following week.
“I want to talk there,” he said. “I think I’m ready.”
