Chapter 3
Marcus asked me where it had happened.
I told him.
He asked who had started it. I told him about Andre reaching for my hand, and about my choice to stay after I knew what he wanted. I told him I could have left. I should have.
He listened with his elbows on the table, looking at a mark in the wood.
“Did you tell him you loved him?”
“No.”
“Did he tell you?”
“He said he cared about me. I told him we couldn’t do this.”
“After you did it.”
“Yes.”
He looked up then. I could see how exhausted he was.
“Were you going to tell me?”
“I kept deciding I would. Then I’d see you, and I’d get scared.”
“So I would still know nothing if I hadn’t followed you.”
“Yes.”
That answer hurt him. I watched it happen and forced myself not to explain it away.
“I’m going to get tested,” he said. “You should too.”
“I will.”
He rubbed his eyes. “I’m trying to remember whether there were signs. Every time you said you were working late. Every time you turned your phone over.”
“You didn’t miss something that made this your fault.”
“I know that in my head.”
He looked toward the bedroom.
“I don’t feel it yet.”
I wanted to reach across the table. I kept my hands where they were.
“I’ll take my things,” I said.
“You can come back Saturday while I’m out.”
A key sat beside his mug. I placed mine next to it.
His eyes followed the movement.
“We need space,” he said. “I don’t know what happens after that.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t think you do. Yesterday I was looking at dates for our summer trip. Today I don’t know if I want you in this room.”
I lowered my gaze. On the refrigerator, a small calendar still had the trip circled in blue.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He stood and walked to the window.
“I believe you regret it,” he said. “I’m still the person you let it happen to.”
I left a few minutes later.
Imani was waiting in the car. I told her Marcus had asked me to move out. She drove without trying to fill the silence.
That evening, Serena called me from her mother’s house.
I nearly let it go to voicemail. Then I answered.
“I need to know something,” she said. “Did Andre tell you we were having problems?”
“Yes.”
“We had an argument that week. He told me it was nothing.”
“He said you barely spoke to each other anymore.”
Serena breathed in sharply. “That was a lie. We were discussing whether to renew our lease.”
I closed my eyes.
“He told me you and Marcus might break up,” she added.
“We had one fight. I never said that.”
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then Serena said, “I’m not calling to comfort you.”
“I know.”
“I’m calling because I need facts before Andre changes the story again.”
I told her the dates I remembered. I told her where Andre and I had met last Thursday and exactly what had happened. She wrote it down.
“I’m sorry,” I said at the end.
“I believe that you are. I’m hurt anyway.”
“I understand.”
“No,” she said. “I hope one day you do.”
The call ended.
I spent the next two days making the arrangements I had avoided thinking about. I booked a clinic appointment. I asked my manager for time off. I moved the money Marcus and I had put into a shared account back to the account we had used for rent, with a note listing every transaction. I did not want him discovering another surprise.
Saturday morning, Imani came with me to collect my clothes.
Marcus was out, as he had promised. The apartment smelled of coffee and the soap he used. My shoes still stood beneath the bed beside his. I packed what belonged to me and left his books where they were.
In the closet, I found a wrapped box on the top shelf. My birthday was next month. I recognized Marcus’s handwriting on the small card taped to it.
I put the box back without opening it.
Imani carried one suitcase downstairs while I checked each room. On the kitchen counter lay a note from Marcus.
Please take the blue bowl your mother gave you. I don’t want it broken while we sort this out.
I wrapped the bowl in a sweater and took it with me.
That night, my phone received a message from an unfamiliar number.
Andre had found a way around the block.
You can tell them I pushed you, but I have all our messages. Think about what Marcus will believe.
My hands shook. I took a screenshot and showed Imani.
“Don’t answer,” she said.
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Keep it. And tell Marcus if Andre sends anything to him.”
I looked at the message again. Andre had every right to tell the truth about my choices. What scared me was that he wanted to decide which truth the others heard.
On Monday morning, Serena called again.
“I found something in our shared tablet,” she said. Her voice was tight. “Andre’s been telling his brother that you won’t leave him alone.”
May you like
I sat down.
“There are dates,” she continued. “Some of them are days he was contacting you. I want Marcus to see it.”
