Chapter 8
The day Patricia was charged over the false records and her treatment of Lily, I expected relief to arrive all at once.
It didn’t.
I felt anger that it had taken so long. I felt grief for the years we could not recover. I felt afraid Lily might hear adults talking about the case and think it was her fault.
Grace helped me tell her only what she needed to know.
“People are reviewing things Patricia did,” I said. “She cannot come here. You don’t have to speak about anything unless you want to with the people helping you.”
Lily touched Blue’s ear.
“Will Mrs. Price get in trouble?”
“I don’t know. She told people what she saw. I’ll ask how she’s doing.”
Mrs. Price had been kind to Lily and had failed to stop Patricia. Lily loved her anyway. I was learning how many feelings a child could hold at once.
With guidance from Dr. Sayeed and Ms. Ortiz, Lily wrote Mrs. Price a short note. She thanked her for the stories they had read together. Mrs. Price sent a reply telling Lily she was glad to hear she had a window she could open.
Lily put the note in her album.
Patricia’s attorney made more claims about my parenting. Grace answered them with records of Lily’s care, the school support we had arranged, and the visits Ms. Ortiz had made.
I stopped reading every letter the moment it arrived. Grace told me what needed an answer. That let me spend my evenings with the girls instead of Patricia’s words.
Emma started asking about the funeral.
“I saw a picture of you and Mommy by flowers,” she said.
“Yes. I was told Lily had died.”
“Did you cry?”
“I did.”
“Did Lily cry there too?”
“Lily wasn’t there. She was a baby at Patricia’s house.”
Emma thought about it. “I’m glad she found my closet.”
“So am I. I wish she hadn’t needed to hide in it.”
At school, Lily began a gentle transition into a small class. She had never attended regularly before. On the first morning, she stopped at the classroom door.
“What if you forget to get me?”
“I’ll be here when school ends. Tessa is our backup. Your teacher has both numbers.”
She checked the card in her pocket. Then she went inside.
I was at the door before dismissal. When she saw me, she ran so fast her backpack bounced.
“I made a friend,” she said.
Her friend’s name was Zoe. They had built a paper bridge together. Lily told me every detail on the way home, stopping only when she realized I had heard enough about tape.
“I want to hear the rest,” I said.
She started again.
Vanessa continued counseling and, after careful planning with Dr. Sayeed, began short supervised visits with Lily. The first took place in a room where Lily could leave whenever she wanted.
I waited nearby.
Lily stayed fifteen minutes. When she came out, she asked for water. She did not tell me what they had said until bedtime.
“She told me she was sorry,” Lily said.
“How did that feel?”
“I wanted her to say it. Then I didn’t know what to do.”
“You don’t have to do anything with an apology right away.”
“She asked if she could see me again.”
“You get to talk about that with Dr. Sayeed. We’ll listen to you.”
Lily nodded.
Emma had her own visits with Vanessa under a plan that let her keep their relationship. Sometimes she came home happy. Sometimes she cried because she couldn’t understand why Mom no longer slept in our house.
I sat with her through both kinds of evenings.
One rainy night, the power went out. Lily froze when the lights disappeared.
I found the flashlight in the kitchen drawer and took both girls into the living room. Tessa came over with battery lanterns.
“Can we sleep downstairs?” Lily asked.
“Yes.”
We made a bed of blankets on the floor. Emma thought it was a party. Lily kept looking toward the patio door.
“It’s locked,” I told her. “We’re all inside.”
I checked it with her, then left a lantern glowing nearby. She fell asleep between Emma and me.
May you like
In the morning, the power returned. Lily woke to sunlight through the window. She smiled before she remembered to be cautious.
I wanted to hold on to that smile. Instead, I made pancakes and let the day begin.
