Chapter 1
Marcus pulled up outside Nia’s house at ten on Saturday morning.
Ava and Eli usually came running when they heard his car. He would load their bags, remind Eli to buckle his seat belt, and listen to Ava tell him every thought she had saved for the weekend.
Today, the front door stayed closed.
Marcus checked the address, though he knew it by heart. Then he walked up the porch steps and knocked.
Nia opened the door just wide enough to stand in the gap.
“I’m here for Ava and Eli.”
“They’re staying with me.”
Marcus glanced at his watch. “Is somebody sick?”
“No.”
“Then what happened?”
Nia’s fingers tightened around the edge of the door. “Plans changed.”
He had known Nia for eleven years. He knew the difference between her angry face and her worried one. This morning, he could see both.
“This is my weekend,” he said. “We settled it on Thursday.”
“I know what we settled.”
“Then let me take them.”
She stepped farther onto the porch and pulled the door nearly shut behind her.
“They don’t want to go.”
Marcus felt his breath catch. Eli had called him the night before to ask whether they could make pancakes. Ava had reminded him twice to bring the blue blanket she liked at his apartment.
“If they’ve changed their minds, I’ll listen,” he said. “Let me talk to them.”
“They’re already upset. Please don’t make it worse.”
He looked past her shoulder. He could see the hallway, a pair of little sneakers, and nothing else.
“Nia. I’m their father. I need to hear this from them.”
For a moment, neither of them moved.
Then a voice floated from inside the house.
“Daddy?”
Ava appeared at the far end of the hall. Her hair was pulled into two uneven braids, and she was wearing the purple sweatshirt she always packed for his place.
Her eyes widened.
“Daddy!”
She raced toward him.
Nia turned, but Ava had already slipped around her. She threw herself into Marcus’s arms so hard he had to catch the porch railing to keep his balance.
Eli came after her, dragging his overnight bag by one strap.
“Dad, you came!”
Marcus dropped to one knee and wrapped an arm around each of them.
“Of course I came.”
Ava pressed her face against his neck. Eli held on to his shoulder. Marcus could feel how hard his son was breathing.
“We were waiting by the window,” Ava said.
Marcus looked up at Nia. She stared down at the porch boards.
“Why wouldn’t I come?” he asked gently.
Eli’s grip tightened. “Mom said you might not.”
Marcus turned to him. “She said that?”
“She said maybe you had other things you wanted to do.”
Ava lifted her head. “And maybe you didn’t want us this weekend.”
The street behind Marcus was quiet. Somewhere nearby, a dog barked. He heard every sound because, for a second, he couldn’t speak.
He remembered Ava asking last month whether he got lonely when they visited. He had thought she was worried about leaving him by himself.
He remembered Eli asking why grown-ups stopped loving each other. Marcus had talked to him about the divorce. He had never imagined Eli was asking about something else.
He stood, keeping a hand on each child’s shoulder.
“Did you tell them I didn’t want them?” he asked Nia.
“I never used those words.”
“They heard them.”
Nia folded her arms. “I told them not to get their hopes up. That’s different.”
“I called last night. We confirmed ten o’clock.”
“You have no idea what it’s like here during the week.” Her voice shook. “They ask when you’re coming. They count down the days. And I’m the one who has to manage every feeling they have.”
Marcus lowered his voice. “We can talk about that. But you can’t leave them thinking I might decide they aren’t worth picking up.”
“I was trying to protect them.”
“From what?”
Nia looked at the children, then away.
Marcus wanted an answer. He could see Ava watching their faces, though, and he knew this porch was the wrong place to demand one.
He knelt again.
“Ava. Eli. Look at me.”
Two worried faces turned toward him.
“I wanted to see you today. I want to spend this weekend with you. Nothing you said or did could change that.”
Eli swallowed. “Even if Mom’s mad?”
“Even then.”
Marcus glanced up. Nia’s expression tightened, but she said nothing.
He picked up Eli’s bag and reached for Ava’s. It sat just inside the doorway, packed and zipped. Nia moved aside when he lifted it.
Ava took his hand as they went down the steps. Eli walked so close to his other side that their shoulders touched.
At the car, Marcus opened the back door. Eli climbed in. Ava stayed on the sidewalk.
“Daddy?”
“I’m right here.”
She looked at the house. Then she looked up at him.
“Are you always going to come get us?”
Marcus crouched until their eyes were level.
“Every time I say I’m coming, I’ll be here.”
“Even if it rains?”
“Even if it rains.”
“Even if you’re tired?”
“Then I’ll come tired.”
Her mouth lifted into a small smile. Marcus kissed her forehead and helped her into the car.
As he fastened her seat belt, he noticed a folded sheet of paper sticking out of the side pocket of her bag. On it was a drawing of his blue car in front of Nia’s house. A small girl stood at the window.
He slid it back without mentioning it.
Nia remained on the porch while he got into the driver’s seat. She raised a hand to the children. Ava waved. Eli didn’t.
Marcus started the car, but he waited until both children had settled before pulling away.
At the corner, Eli spoke so softly Marcus almost missed it.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“If Mom says you aren’t coming next time, should we still wait?”
Marcus looked at him in the rearview mirror. Eli’s face was serious. He wasn’t asking about a ride.
“Yes,” Marcus said. “And if you’re unsure, you can call me. I’ll answer.”
Eli nodded, but his shoulders stayed tense.
Marcus turned onto the main road. He had gone to Nia’s house expecting a weekend with his kids. Now he was trying to remember every odd question, every nervous look, every goodbye that had lasted a little too long.
May you like
He didn’t know how many times they had stood at that window waiting for him.
He only knew he had to find out.
