Chapter 9
At the airport, I counted us twice.
Dad.
Simone.
Isaiah.
Kendra.
Me.
Five.
Nobody had forgotten a passport or secretly changed a plan. Nobody told me to watch the bags while everyone disappeared without explaining where they were going.
Isaiah took my suitcase when I struggled with the handle.
I almost said I could manage.
Then I let him help.
At the gate, Dad sat beside me.
He held his boarding pass loosely.
I held mine as if someone might take it.
He noticed but did not tease me.
“Want to compare seats?”
I nodded.
We were all together.
Not exactly the same row, but close enough to turn and see one another.
Kendra leaned forward from behind us.
“I traded with Isaiah so you can have the window.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. You wanted to see the ocean first.”
I had said that months ago.
Before the torn ticket.
I looked at her.
“Thank you.”
On the plane, I watched clouds rise beneath us.
Dad slept for part of the flight. His hand rested near mine on the armrest.
I thought about the living room.
The basket.
Vanessa’s voice.
You’re staying home.
For months, the sentence had felt like a future.
Now it was something that happened.
It was still painful.
It was no longer a command.
When the island appeared beneath the wing, I pressed my face toward the window.
Kendra tapped my shoulder.
“Is that it?”
I nodded.
My eyes filled.
Dad woke and looked outside.
“There it is.”
Simone saw us and passed tissues over Isaiah’s shoulder.
He laughed.
“Auntie planned for everything.”
“Obviously.”
At the hotel, we checked in together.
Dad asked me to confirm the spelling of my name on the activity reservations.
It was correct.
The room I shared with Kendra had a balcony facing the water.
She dropped her bag and opened the curtains.
I stood in the doorway.
The ocean looked too blue to be real.
“Come here,” she said.
I did.
We leaned on the rail.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
Then she said, “I’m glad you’re here.”
I believed her.
That evening, we went to the beach.
Dad walked beside me while the others went ahead.
“Does it feel okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“If it stops feeling okay, tell me.”
“I will.”
I had learned I could ruin a pleasant moment only in Vanessa’s version of events. In this family, I could say I was afraid and still be welcome.
At sunset, Simone took a photograph.
She asked everyone to stand closer.
I moved to the edge automatically.
Dad held out his hand.
“Maya.”
I stopped.
He pulled me beside him.
Not hard.
Not as if making a point for an audience.
As if that was simply where he wanted me.
Simone lifted the camera.
I smiled.
A real smile.
Afterward, we ate dinner with sand still on our shoes.
Isaiah told a ridiculous story about nearly losing his hat at the airport. Kendra laughed so hard she had to put down her drink.
Dad ordered dessert for the table.
He asked me to choose first.
I chose pineapple cake.
Nobody complained.
Back at the hotel, I sent Bree the photograph.
Her reply came immediately.
THERE YOU ARE.
I looked at the picture.
There I was.
Between my father and my stepsister, with the water behind us and my hair blowing across my cheek.
I saved it.
Then I made it my phone background.
The next morning, we visited a garden and walked a trail with views of the coast. Dad checked whether Simone needed a rest. Isaiah carried water. Kendra waited when I stopped to draw.
No one called me slow.
No one said I spoiled the plan.
That afternoon, I stayed on the balcony while the others rested.
I drew the shoreline.
Then five small figures beneath it.
This time, I did not leave mine unfinished.
Dad came out and stood beside me.
“That’s beautiful.”
“It’s ours.”
He nodded.
“Yes.”
I looked at him.
“I missed Mom today.”
His eyes softened.
“So did I.”
“I thought being happy meant I wasn’t supposed to.”
“You can do both.”
I rested my head against his shoulder.
May you like
The ocean kept moving below us.
For the first time in a long time, I was not waiting for someone to tell me to leave.
