Chapter 4
I knew which page was missing before I counted.
Three weeks earlier, I had written down every chore I'd done while Dad was in Denver. I included the day I missed Maya's party and the night I stayed up folding laundry after Caleb and Ava went to bed.
I was going to show Dad when he got home.
Vanessa found the notebook first. She told me she'd only looked because it had fallen from my desk. Then she said I'd exaggerated everything.
“I tore out the page myself,” she told me. “I don't want lies kept in this house.”
I had left the rest of the notebook hidden beneath my mattress. I didn't know she'd found it again.
Dad listened while I explained.
“Did she say why she took it last week?”
“She said she needed to see what I was writing about her.”
Ava held the notebook against her chest.
“I saw Mom put it in her bag tonight,” she said. “When she went to get her keys, I took it out.”
Dad knelt so they were eye to eye.
“Thank you for bringing it back.”
“Am I going to be in trouble with Mom?”
“No,” he said. “If she asks, I'll tell her I asked about it.”
Ava handed me the notebook. I hugged it carefully against my shirt. Losing one page still hurt, but I'd got the rest back.
The next morning, Dad asked each of us what our weekends had been like. Ruth sat with us, mostly listening.
Caleb said Vanessa had told him not to mention my chores because Dad would think she couldn't manage the house. Ava said she had seen me eat dinner in the kitchen after the others were done twice.
Dad looked at me.
“Why in the kitchen?”
“I was finishing the dishes.”
Vanessa always said I could make myself a plate afterward. Some nights, I did. Other nights, I was too tired and wanted to get upstairs before she found something else for me to clean.
Dad went to the refrigerator and looked inside. He made breakfast for all three of us, then sat down and ate with us. I noticed he didn't ask me to clear anyone's plate.
Later, he called our school counselor, Ms. Ellis. He told her there had been problems at home and asked for a meeting. He included me when he picked the time.
“Would tomorrow after school work?” he asked.
I nodded.
I had been afraid an adult at school would think I was complaining about chores. My hands made it harder to pretend nothing was wrong. The doctor had said they needed several days away from cleaning products to heal.
Moments after Dad ended the call, Vanessa rang.
He answered in the hallway. I heard enough to know she wanted to come home.
“The kids need their mother,” she said.
“They can speak to you,” Dad replied. “We can arrange a visit. Nia needs time without you in the house.”
“She has Ruth filling her head.”
“I saw Nia's hands myself.”
There was a pause.
Then Vanessa said, “Ask her what she did with the money from the kitchen drawer.”
Dad came back into the room, still on the phone. His eyes met mine.
“What money?” he asked.
“Two hundred dollars is missing,” Vanessa said loudly enough for me to hear. “It disappeared while I was out with the younger ones on Thursday. Nia was home.”
I felt my face grow hot.
“I was at school until four,” I said.
Dad held up a hand to tell me I didn't have to defend myself over the call.
“We'll talk about your claim when you have something to show me,” he told Vanessa. “Don't accuse her through me.”
After he hung up, I told him about Thursday. Maya's mom had driven me home after art club. I still had the drawing I'd made in my backpack.
Dad asked whether Vanessa had ever accused me of taking money before.
“Twice. She found it both times.”
“Where?”
“Once in her coat pocket. Once under the grocery coupons.”
Ruth shook her head. Dad didn't comment, but he wrote it down.
That afternoon, Vanessa's sister, Tasha, brought Caleb and Ava to a café to see their mother. Dad went with them. Ruth stayed with me because I didn't want to go.
Before they left, Caleb worried that Vanessa would ask him to take back what he'd said.
“You can tell her you love her,” Dad said. “You can also tell the truth.”
When they returned, Ava ran upstairs without speaking. Caleb stayed in the kitchen.
“Mom says if she can't come home, it's because I made you think she was mean.”
Dad pulled out a chair.
“I already knew how Nia's hands looked before you spoke,” he said. “You helped me understand why.”
“She's still my mom.”
“I know. You can love her. I'm not asking you to stop.”
Caleb wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
I wanted to be angry at him for dropping the popcorn. I was angry. But I knew what it felt like to be afraid of Vanessa's reaction.
I sat down across from him.
“You didn't make her give me the list,” I said.
He looked up.
“I could have stopped making more mess.”
“You can start now.”
That evening, a message arrived from Maya.
Her mother had seen Dad at the clinic and asked whether I was okay. I told Maya my hands were sore and things at home were changing.
She replied that she still had my birthday cupcake in her freezer. She'd saved it after I missed the party, hoping I could come over another day.
I showed Dad.
“Can I go on Friday?”
May you like
He looked at the message, then at me.
“Yes,” he said. “I'll take you.”
