Chapter 18
The second year after the trial, Sabrina asked me to walk with her into the prison visitation room.
Not to forgive Victoria.
To ask one question.
I told her she did not have to.
She said, “I know. That’s why I can.”
Victoria looked older in prison beige.
Still polished in the ways available to her.
Hair neat.
Mouth tight.
Eyes sharp.
When Sabrina sat down across from her, Victoria smiled.
“My baby.”
Sabrina did not react.
“I’m not here for that.”
Victoria’s smile faded.
I sat beside Sabrina, silent.
She had asked me not to speak unless she needed me.
I would have sat through fire.
Sabrina placed a copy of Logan’s amended birth certificate on the table.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Victoria sighed.
“I was protecting you.”
“No. Try again.”
Victoria’s eyes flicked to me.
“He has trained you.”
Sabrina stood.
I stood with her.
Victoria panicked.
“Wait.”
Sabrina paused.
For once, Victoria understood she could lose the room.
Her voice hardened.
“Because I was ashamed.”
Sabrina turned back.
Victoria looked away.
“I was ashamed of having two children by a man who did not want me. I was ashamed of needing Glenn. I was ashamed that he was better than Raymond in every way that mattered and still not the man I wanted people to see.”
The words landed quietly.
Ugly.
Human.
Not enough.
Sabrina asked, “Did you ever love me?”
Victoria’s face twitched.
“In my way.”
Sabrina nodded slowly.
“Your way almost destroyed me.”
Victoria cried then.
Maybe for herself.
Maybe for Sabrina.
Maybe for the life she could no longer control.
Sabrina took the birth certificate back.
“I’m not coming again soon.”
Victoria whispered, “Will you ever forgive me?”
Sabrina looked at her for a long time.
“I don’t know. But I’m done waiting for your truth to free me.”
We left.
In the parking lot, Sabrina breathed like she had been underwater.
I held out my hand.
She took it.
“I thought hearing why would make it make sense,” she said.
“Did it?”
“No.”
“Sometimes why is just a smaller room inside the same prison.”
She gave a tired laugh.
“That sounds like something you’d embroider on a pillow.”
“I make suits, not pillows.”
“Probably for the best.”
On the drive home, she rolled down the window.
The air rushed in.
She closed her eyes.
“I’m glad you were there.”
“Always.”
She smiled.
May you like
“You say that like it’s simple.”
“It is simple. It just isn’t small.”
