Chapter 5
I kept the door closed.
“Who said it?” I asked.
Mom took a breath on the other side.
“I did.”
James stood a few feet behind me, holding Emma. He didn't speak.
Mom's shadow moved across the porch light.
“Come inside and explain,” I said, opening the door only after I saw that she was alone.
She stepped in and stopped when she saw Emma in James's arms.
“I won't ask to hold her,” she said.
“Good.”
Mom looked down at her hands.
“When Emma was born, you were exhausted. You called me one night and said you were afraid you'd fall asleep while feeding her.”
“I remember.”
“I came over. You handed her to me and slept for four hours.”
“I thanked you for coming.”
“I know. But I went home and told Lauren I was frightened for you.”
“That was six months ago.”
Mom nodded. “Lauren said she could stay more often. I encouraged it. After that, whenever you had a difficult day, she called me. I began to think she understood what was happening in your house better than you did.”
I felt the old anger rise, but I made myself listen.
“What did you say about giving Emma up?”
“A month ago, I asked whether you would consider letting Lauren keep her for a week.”
“You offered my child to my sister?”
“I asked Lauren first,” Mom whispered. “Then I was going to ask you.”
“You never did.”
“Lauren told me you had already said yes.”
I remembered that week. Lauren had offered to take Emma overnight. I had said no because I wanted her home.
“You didn't believe me when I refused,” I said.
Mom's eyes filled.
“No. I thought you were embarrassed to need help.”
I stepped back.
She had been making decisions about my life while hearing only Lauren's version of it.
“Did you sign anything?” James asked.
“No.”
“Did you see the form with Claire's signature?”
“I saw it two weeks ago. Lauren said Claire signed it.”
“Why didn't you check?” I asked.
Mom looked at Emma.
“Because I wanted to believe everything was being handled.”
For a while, none of us spoke.
Then Mom reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a small envelope.
“Lauren left this at our house. Your father didn't find it because it was in my room.”
James took the envelope. Inside was the old key to our house and a note in Lauren's handwriting.
If Claire changes her mind, I can still pick Emma up. Keep the key somewhere she won't find it.
Mom watched me read it.
“I should have brought that to you the moment I saw it,” she said.
“Yes.”
“I'll tell the police where it came from.”
“Yes,” I said again.
I didn't have forgiveness to offer. Mom seemed to understand.
She left without asking me for it.
The next morning, I met the investigator at the station with James. Dad, Frank, Mom, Ms. Patel, and Denise had all agreed to speak with her. The investigator asked me about my health, my support at home, and every time Lauren had cared for Emma alone.
The questions were hard. I answered them.
I had needed help. I had never asked anyone to take Emma away.
When we finished, the investigator told us Lauren had been asked to come in for an interview.
“Will you tell us what she says?” I asked.
“I'll tell you what I can.”
On the drive home, James glanced at me.
“You don't have to prove you're a perfect mother.”
“I know. I just wish Mom knew that.”
“She may finally be learning.”
At home, I put Emma down for a nap. Her cheek looked normal again, but every time I remembered her scream, I wanted to check.
James's phone rang. He listened for less than a minute before putting it on speaker.
It was his friend Daniel, a lawyer who had helped us find someone to advise us about protecting Emma. The appointment was set for the next day.
“There's one thing I want you to know before you go,” Daniel said. “Lauren called your family lawyer this morning. She asked whether the form gave her any rights.”
“What did he tell her?” James asked.
“He wouldn't discuss your family with her. But he called your father because Lauren claimed he had approved it.”
Dad had not.
Daniel paused.
“She also said Emma would be with her soon.”
I looked toward the bedroom.
“How soon?”
“She didn't say.”
After the call, James stayed with Emma while I called the investigator. She took the information and repeated that we should report any attempt to come to the house.
That evening, Lauren sent me one message.
I never wanted it to happen this way. Please let me explain before strangers decide what kind of person I am.
I stared at it for a long time.
May you like
Then another arrived.
Mom promised me Emma would be safe with me.
