Chapter 4
I wanted to know every word Jay had said.
I also knew Owen was five and frightened. If I pushed him, he might start guessing at answers because he wanted to make me feel better.
I brushed his hair off his forehead.
“When did Jay tell you that?”
“In the kitchen.”
“Was Mom there?”
“She was upstairs.”
“What did you say?”
Owen picked at the edge of his blanket. “I said you always come home in the morning.”
My chest tightened.
“What did Jay say then?”
“He said grown-up things change. He said he could stay with us if I wanted.”
I stared at the wall behind Owen’s bed.
“You don’t have to choose who stays with you,” I told him. “That’s a grown-up decision. I’m your dad, and I will always take care of you.”
“Even if you sleep here?”
“Even then.”
He asked if we could have pancakes. I said yes.
While Sam cooked, I called Laura from the porch. I repeated Owen’s words exactly.
“He said that to Owen?” she asked.
“He says Jay told him I might not live there.”
“I never told Jay to say anything like that.”
“But you told him you might leave me.”
Laura was silent.
“I’m coming over this afternoon,” I said. “Sam will watch Owen. We need to discuss what Jay said.”
I called Jay too. He answered sounding cautious.
“You told Owen I might stop living with him.”
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why did you?”
“I thought Laura was going to tell you after Christmas.”
“You had no right to prepare my son for it.”
“I know.”
“He told me you offered to stay if he wanted.”
Jay took a breath. “I wanted him to know somebody would be there.”
“He has parents. He needed you to leave him out of it.”
Jay apologized again. I ended the call. Hearing remorse from him did nothing to settle Owen’s fear.
That afternoon, Laura let me in. I sat at the kitchen table where Owen had colored pictures the week before. One of his crayons was still beneath a chair.
“I spoke to Jay,” I said.
“I did too. I told him never to speak to Owen again without us present.”
“I need more than a promise from Jay. Owen needs to stop seeing him.”
Laura nodded. “I’ve ended it.”
I looked at her. “When?”
“Christmas night.”
“Did you want to end it before Owen spoke?”
She swallowed. “I was trying to decide.”
“While Jay was talking to Owen about living with him.”
“I didn’t know he’d done that.”
“I believe you didn’t know the exact words. You knew he was becoming part of Owen’s life.”
She turned her coffee cup between her hands.
“I felt alone,” she said. “Your shifts changed. When you came home, you slept. I should’ve told you how bad it felt.”
“I knew we were struggling. I asked you to tell me what you needed.”
“I know. I kept saying I was fine.”
I could hear the regret in her voice. I had missed her too. For months, our conversations had been short and careful. I was willing to own my part in that distance. I could not make it the reason she had brought Jay into our home.
“Whatever was happening between us,” I said, “Owen deserved to feel safe.”
“He does.”
“Then we need to act like it. No more adult secrets around him. If he asks why I’m staying at Sam’s, we give him the same simple answer.”
Laura nodded.
“We should speak to someone who knows how to help children,” I said. “A counselor. Owen heard Jay talk about replacing me. I don’t want him carrying that by himself.”
“I’ll make the call.”
“I’ll make it with you.”
We found a family counselor who could see us the following week. She suggested an initial meeting with Laura and me, then a short play session with Owen if needed.
Before I left, I asked Laura whether she and Jay had talked about taking Owen away.
“No,” she said. “We talked about what would happen if you and I separated. I told him Owen’s parents would decide what was best.”
“Did Jay accept that?”
“He said he did.”
I had heard enough from Jay to doubt it.
Back at Sam’s, I told Owen that Mom and I had talked.
“Are you friends again?” he asked.
“We’re being kind to each other while we work things out.”
He thought about it. “I’m friends with both of you.”
“You always can be.”
That evening, Priya read him a story. I heard him ask whether Jay was coming to visit Sam’s house.
“No,” she answered gently. “Jay won’t be coming here.”
Owen didn’t ask why. He turned the page and pointed at a picture of a bear.
Later, I found Sam in the garage fixing one of Owen’s training wheels. He had noticed it rattling on the driveway.
“You don’t have to do that tonight,” I said.
“It’ll take five minutes.”
I held the bicycle steady while he tightened the bolt.
“I feel like I missed everything,” I said.
“You found out what Owen needed you to know. You’re here now.”
I looked at the red frame. Christmas morning had started with so much joy. I wanted Owen to keep that part of it.
The next day, Laura and I told him together that he would spend time at both homes for now. He could bring his bicycle wherever he wanted. Neither of us was angry with him.
He asked only one question.
“Will Dad still teach me to ride without the little wheels?”
“Whenever you’re ready,” I said.
May you like
He reached for my hand.
“Soon.”
