Chapter 6
Naomi laid the statements across her desk.
Sarah had been making monthly payments on the old loan. Six months ago, she made a large payment with Lily’s money. Three weeks before the trip, she made another payment from our joint account.
“Why cancel Lily’s ticket that same morning?” I asked.
“We can ask,” Naomi said. “The records don’t answer that.”
I called Sarah after I left the office. I wanted to hear her say it herself.
She answered at once.
“I was trying to keep us afloat,” she said before I finished my question.
“You took eighteen thousand dollars from Lily’s account.”
“I thought I could replace it before anyone noticed.”
“How?”
“I was expecting money from a job contract. It fell through.”
I pulled into an empty parking space. “And the ticket?”
She began to cry.
“I couldn’t afford four first-class seats.”
“We bought four regular seats months ago.”
“I upgraded Ben because he’d been talking about it for weeks. I thought Lily could stay with your mother.”
“You told both children they were going.”
“I was going to tell her.”
“At the airport?”
Sarah didn’t answer.
I had expected anger. What I heard was a woman still trying to make her decisions sound unavoidable.
“You could have told me about the loan,” I said.
“You would have judged me.”
“We could have made a plan. Lily would still have had her ticket.”
Sarah was silent.
I ended the call when she began asking me to keep the loan secret from Ben. It was not my story to use against him, but I would not promise Sarah anything while she was still hiding facts.
That night, Lily found me sorting papers at Mom’s dining table.
“Are you working?” she asked.
“Some paperwork.”
She sat opposite me. “Ben wants to know if he can visit.”
“I’d like that, if you would.”
“I think so.”
We arranged for Claire to bring Ben over Saturday afternoon. I asked Lily what she wanted to do. She chose a board game they used to play together.
When Saturday came, Ben stood on Mom’s porch holding a small paper bag.
“I brought the candy Lily likes,” he said.
Lily appeared behind me. For a moment neither child moved. Then Ben held out the bag.
“I didn’t know about the ticket,” he said.
“I know,” Lily replied.
“I smiled. I’m sorry.”
She took the bag. “You looked happy. I thought you were happy I couldn’t go.”
“I thought we all had seats.”
They were both near tears. I stepped back and let them speak.
Ben looked at her. “I should’ve asked where your boarding pass was.”
“I didn’t ask either,” Lily said.
“You didn’t have to,” I told her.
Mom brought out the board game, and the children settled at the table. By the second round, they were arguing over the rules in the familiar way I remembered.
I went into the kitchen to give them room.
Claire followed. “He missed you both,” she said.
“I missed him too.”
She looked toward the dining room. “Sarah’s angry he came.”
“He’s at your house this weekend.”
“I know. She agreed, then told him he was betraying her.”
I watched Ben laugh at something Lily said. “That’s too much to put on him.”
Claire nodded. “I’ve told her.”
After the game, Ben helped Lily set up her camera. He had watched tutorials and knew how to turn off the flash. They took pictures of Mom’s flowers, then one of the two of them with the stuffed fox between their shoulders.
When it was time to leave, Ben asked if he could talk to me alone.
We stepped onto the porch.
“Mom told me you’re getting divorced.”
“Yes. Naomi is helping me.”
“Is it because of me?”
“No, Ben. You had no part in the decisions that led here.”
He gripped the porch rail. “She keeps saying she did it for me.”
“I’m sorry she’s saying that. Adults are responsible for their own choices.”
“Can I still come over?”
“I’d like that. We’ll make plans with Claire and your mom.”
Ben wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Before he left, he hugged me so tightly I had to steady us both.
On Monday, Naomi called with news from Sarah’s attorney. Sarah had agreed in writing to repay the eighteen thousand dollars to Lily’s account. She also agreed to provide the remaining loan records.
It was progress, though I knew repayment alone would not repair what Lily had heard.
That evening, Sarah sent Lily a handwritten letter through Claire. I asked Lily whether she wanted it. She said yes, so I sat nearby while she read.
Sarah apologized for canceling the ticket and for lying. Then she wrote that she hoped Lily would understand how hard it was to be a mother to two children.
Lily folded the letter.
“She says she loves me,” she said.
“How does that feel?”
“I don’t know.”
She handed it back to me. “I want to put it away.”
I placed it in a drawer. A few minutes later, Lily came back and asked for it again.
May you like
“I might want to read it when I’m older.”
I gave it to her. She slid it into the back of her sketchbook, where she kept things she wanted to think about privately.
